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Today’s Miracle Moment is About Relationships As a Spiritual Path.
As humans, we’re wired to be social creatures. We all share the core need for connecting and bonding with each other — whether that’s in friendships, romantic partnerships, family relationships, or community connections. Loving relationships add more fulfillment and happiness to our lives.
Relationships can also be our biggest teachers! The people we love the most are usually also the people who can push our buttons the most.
The people we’re in closest relationships with are our “mirrors,” showing us the places we may need some healing.
We’ve all experienced a moment in a relationship when someone says or does something that creates a painful emotional reaction within us. It can seem as though the other person is out to criticize or upset us.
However, if you feel triggered by what someone else has said or done, it’s most likely your reaction is not just about that specific situation or incident. It may be bringing up wounding that happened at a younger age, and that you didn’t fully process at that time.
While emotional upsets within relationships don’t feel great, ultimately they’re an invitation for healing.
In that moment, rather than projecting onto the other person or getting defensive, the first thing you can do is to simply recognize that you’re experiencing an emotional upset. Notice what you feel in your body – you may have tightness in your chest, tension in your shoulders, or a stomach that’s tied up in knots.
Then, turn your attention to loving the part of yourself that’s upset. Breathe with it and be with it, acknowledging the inner child within who didn’t get what he or she needed earlier in life.
At that point, you can choose to be the person who leads with love in your relationships — even if you really want to just yell out all the reasons that the other person is wrong. Instead you can practice being present, share vulnerably, and listen deeply.
When you look at relationships as opportunities to grow and evolve, then everything that arises can be an opportunity for that.
This week, we invite you to explore what your relationships could be teaching you. How are your relationships giving you opportunities to grow and evolve?
In the comments below, share with us how you’re growing and learning from your relationships.
Wow! This couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time! I’ve always struggled when triggered and have got good at either clamming up or freezing. Ultimately, I end up beating myself up. To know that I can welcome and embrace those feelings, is so liberating! I have some previous experiences which I will go back to and work on what the lesson is. Thank you both, so inspiring.
This topic is so timely as I’m about to welcome my 95 yr old mom into my home and my 21 yr old daughter is very resistant to her grandma coming to live with us, even though she loves her grandma deeply. I can see her resistance is all about fear and I know that I need to love her through that fear. At the same time, it’s painful to be in a state of conflict with her as she desperately tries to make me change my mind by not engaging with me. So grateful for my connection with spirit, the forgiveness practice, and the peace prayer to help see me through this difficult time in our relationship.
So what if you are being emotionally abused?? What then?
I share a wonderful friendship with a like-minded individual who get triggered by the tiniest of things. Even though she is very spiritually minded and a working counselor, she just lets her irritations get the better of her with me as a witness to these unsettling moments of “mini tyraids”. So for those in similar situations where we are not the cause, but only the witness, to triggered emotions in another, can I say that’s a challenge as well? My only recourse is to ALLOW, center myself, sense if I am triggered, and if not, envision for her love enveloping her energy fields so she can feel supported while covering my own solar plexus so I don’t “take on her stuff”.
Mary Lou, thanks for this, I will endeavour to adopt this strategy when my partner is triggered into his many mini tirades!
Pam, thanks for bringing this topic up. I just went through a week of continual tirades and negativity due to her schedule overload. As much as I tried to be in my space, give her some feedback, and not take on her emotional abuse, I lost it yesterday and screamed at her. I then sobbed. Since then, she has been back to her normal self. I am not happy with my triggered response, but at the same time I am happy she is back to her “normal” self.
My 90 yr old mom came to live with us when my youngest 2 kids were in high school. She lived with us for 5 yrs. While my son, 3 yrs older than my daughter embraced my mother and the situation, my daughter bucked.
Now 23, she has commented that she treated my mom poorly and doesn’t really understand why, but says she could have been kinder.
Having an elder mom move in requires adjustments for everyone involved. It’s not easy.
Mom died at home 5 yrs later. Overall, it was worth it! I still miss her. My daughter and I have survived and are aging ourselves!
Self compassion on all sides helps!
Wow
I needed this.. thanks for the answer I have needed for a long time. Blessings to you both.
Great video I’ve had things like this come up been triggered by something and getting annoyed with it and upset
My mom lives in Ukraine. she’s under good care . my brother is right there next to her and he takes care of all her needs with my financial support.
When my mom was young she went through depression and quite often it was very difficult to be an oldest daughter trying to please her and to see smiling on her face
and end up not getting anything but complains and criticism. Through our life we had some ups and downs and at this moment we are in quite good relationship because she has a faith and I am into personal and spiritual growth and became more conscious.
We had some nice conversations which helped us to resolve our conflict. She’s 83 now and from time to time her tendencies to complain no matter what gets activated again . I catch myself being not patient when she continuously does it as I try to talk to her. I don’t get angry or anything but I clearly feel I don’t want to continue talking because it puts a pressure on my chest. I think my childhood traumas rising up at that moment. So ,I find a reason to excuse myself and stop conversation. I am glad that I’m conscious enough to recognize it each time and I would like to believe that my reaction to my moms negative mood is sign of me loving myself and not allowing negative energy to affect me. What do you think?
When you feel the pressure in your chest, do you put your attention on that place and reassure your inner child that you are there for her and love her, as Marcia tells us to do? I think you are starting to do some wonderful, healing work that will eventually free you and, perhaps, also lead to some healing for your mother as she feels your loving energy.
I hope that your family remain safe and that peace comes to Ukraine soon.
Greetings & Shalom ❤,
This topic is so apropos. Relationships “are life”. My life from Corporate America to managing Not-for-Profit’s to volunteering at my church and of course the greatest relationships, family ( mom of 2 sons gran of 3 granddaughters), as well as several other family 💙. Relationships are Key to life. Our Precious Saviour has groomed and prepared us by the Holy Spirit to be Excellent stewards of the gift of Grace for relationships. You ladies Rock!!! Love You keep up the Great Work you are doing 😘
This message was so timely for me as I have been working really hard on transitioning in my relationship with my partner and have been feeling really triggered and annoyed. I needed this message to help me join mind, body and breath! Thank you so much ladies!!! Xoxo
If anyone feels being”triggered” might be due to an unresolved trauma of some kind,there is a remarkable therapy called EMDR(eye movement desensitisation and reprogramming) which doesn’t include the necessity to talk about the trauma. It is also good the keep your own boundaries,and know you can choose not to get involved in other people’s problems and gently steer them in the direction of a Professional. Hope this helps. X
I just listened to your comments about relationships as a spiritual path, and I am grateful to be reminded of the importance of listening deeply. I have found recently that if and when I have a critical thought about a friend, I try to look within myself to see what triggered that reaction, hoping to understand just what is going on within me. Then I can say something affirming to that person as I listen more openly to what they are expressing. You say that we should then love that part of ourselves. I am less certain about that, but I do see the importance of recognizing what that space may be, and the assumptions that led to my critical thoughts. So thank you very much.
The husband of my close friend ERNA had an heart attack two weeks ago …
It was a wonderful occasion for me to practice l o v e in a real way …
I LOVE YOU BOTH, Marcie and Dr. Sue – many, many thanks, you are a source of inspiration!
MUCH LOVE,
Ivana
Thank You, very good timing🌞🙏❤️
I love how I can turn something negative into a positive not only for me but for my “triggers “. My family is very sarcastic and I am not a fan of sarcasm. I think at times some may hide their true feelings behind it. This week I will take that triggering sarcasm and respond with kindness in my heart and soul and share it outward to my family. I love this, thank you for the knowledge.
So wonderful. Thank you for this message.
I will listen to it again and I am going to pass it along to friends.
Thank you!!!
I get triggered but I don’t know how to love myself I have been thrown away so much!
I feel like I am useless here and wish to be gone with no pain.
Yes relationship r built to know who we r and to demonstrate that! To b kind, if u want kindness, to come from love,compassion, and all the positive things…….demonstrate! It will surely come back tenfolds
So acting from a love space is the place to be ♥️
Yes relationship r built to know who we r and to demonstrate that! To b kind, if u want kindness, to come from love,compassion, and all the positive things etc….demonstrate! It will surely come back tenfolds
So acting from a love space is the place to be ♥️
This was perfect timing! I am leaning into love as a spiritual and healing practice. Thank you so much for this wonderful reminder and lesson !!!
Thank you for guiding me with your love, Doctor Sue thank you
Wonderful advice, I’m always open to any opportunity for love and healing to come in! I will hold space for that opportunity to show up. Thank you <3
Very timely! My partner and I have been together for 40 years. We are as different as night and day. We think differently and react differently. And that deep listening and hearing, without me reacting, and thinking about what I want to say to be right or heard, makes all the difference. I can feel in my body now when I need to breathe and let go. It is not easy for me when the sensitive buttons are pushed and I get triggered, BUT, I can now see things very clearly, so I can breathe, realize I’m there, and switch to my heart instead of battle mode. I learn so much about my issues from relationships.
Though I am in accordance with heart-centeredness I don’t believe there is a “one-size fits all” response to every situation/person where there is conflict. Even Jesus didn’t respond with love in every situation – e.g., when he reamed out the money changers as he threw them out of the temple. I think we need a variety of approaches (all of them coming from love) for a variety of people/situations AND the wisdom to know when to use what. And in order to do that we need to confront our own triggers/defenses and work through that so we may be in the best position to respond with that wisdom.
Do we not all wish to bring love to the other Party in a relationship as a means for them to enjoy the excitement and closeness from the Source of what makes us feel loved?
And is not the most credible way to communicate that love through sacrifice? After all, actions speak louder than words.
I am grateful for those who have inspired me to seek my higher power and honor them in this moment. It’s today’s meditation and it seemed very appropriate.
This subject came up in a discussion recently. I am in a long term friendship that I feel is borderline emotionally abusive. I am not the one who is triggered, she is and reacts very angrily if I try to have an honest, heart felt conversation with her about some the unkind things that she says to me. Doing the work with YOM, I have increased my self love to the point where I have sought out healthier friendships and still feel the need to create healthy boundaries with her. How does this work in relation to this Monday Miracles Message?
Thank you for the wise words that you ladies shared in your Miracle Message this week. I do believe that the relationships that we have and try to continue to maintain should be one where loving, and positive gestures are done for the other person treating them in a way that we would want to be treated ourselves. If one of the people are disrespectful/hurtful then instead of yelling or saying something nasty the other person might need to take a few deep breaths or go outside and calm down but then instead of holding that emotion inside of them so it might cause further tension they should probably try to discuss the matter with the other person and let the tension go so that the feelings of positivity is back in the relationship again.
Fabulous communication! I have been on this journey for some time and I’m finally becoming aware, consciously aware of things, triggers, etc so this fell right in line with what I have been practicing – thank you. The only thing I would appreciate hearing your comments on is someone incorrect perception that loving does not mean staying in relationship(s), whatever they may be, because you think you have to be loving and accepting of what is. I have told my friends it means just loving you and the other person for where we are right now on our journey and continue to ask for our needs to be met however if they aren’t being met, loving & acceptance does not mean self-sacrifice. Can you share your thoughts on this. Thank you, Charlene
Thank you very timely! I have a new Manager at work who seems to be quite critical of my behavior. Any negative behavior gets on her radar and she communicates it to me via email and reviews in our weekly meetings. That really gets me upset and triggered, so normally I would get defensive or try to explain my point of view.
Now, I will try to love that hurt part of me instead, and deeply listen to my Manager even though I feel triggered. And I will try to express some positive emotion afterwards. It is very hard as my little girl hates to be criticized, which reminds her of growing up in abusive home, but at the same time there is truth to those observations and I do need to pay attention to them.
Thank you for putting a positive spin on a difficult situation!
I have been struggling with a difficult relationship with my daughter. Sometimes it feels as if she goes out of her way to be critical. I don’t know why & it hurts so badly. Recently, I told her I’d call her back. This space seems to have given me time to regroup. I have to remember to Breathe. When I returned her call, we came to a resolution. This helps me see that I’m on the right track. Thank You, I needed a reminder & more clarity. Blessings
Thank you, the timing to hear this is perfect. 💕💕💕
This is so timely for me as I am processing being “dumped” from a romantic relationship. It was the way that it was done and not the why that is the challenge…in a text message.
After much processing and tapping I have asked the person to make time for a phone conversation (geography does not allow for in person) so that I might have an opportunity to respond.
I have decided to approach it with love and compassion, wanting peace and harmony in my life and the world as a whole.
I can’t know how he will respond and am trying to prepare for whatever comes. I do hope for some reciprocity.
Thank you so much this message and all that you do to help us find our true selves. Much love, Kate
“..only love is vast enough to embrace its opposite” — gosh that’s a profound insight! Thank you for sharing it, very helpful to me.
I’ve been thinking these past few months that my partner and I are so totally opposite is there any point in being together; we have very different values and are on very different trajectories; I felt highly triggered by many of his habits and opinions.
Also he has no interest in my business although I could do with his help and input.
I’ve been considering if I would be better off leaving this relationship and going it alone, maybe make myself available for a more supportive and compatible relationship.
Now this insight you offered me has opened a whole new viewpoint!
And I noticed earlier this week that I am “allowing” him to be and do as he wants and I am not triggered by it, or I can fairly easily let it go.
So that is quite an evolution for me and I feel good about that progress on my spiritual path.
And I have him (my opposite) to thank for being my mirror and teacher. 🙂