Episode 20: From Shame to the Miracle Life Through Compassion and Forgiveness with Leila Reyes

Note: This episode contains one woman’s story related to childhood sexual abuse and can be triggering for some. This podcast is not a substitute for psychotherapy, mental health counseling, medical diagnosis or treatment. We urge you to speak to your health provider or mental health professional if you have concerns about your emotional well-being.

Today we dive into the heart of transformation and resilience with our amazing guest, Leila Reyes. Leila is a remarkable woman. And as you’ll hear in this episode, her life journey truly exemplifies the extraordinary power of the human spirit. She has courageously embraced the shadows of childhood trauma and now lives a life filled with grace, unconditional self-love and miracles. Her story is a true testament to the indomitable nature of the human soul. Leila is also a very dear, dear, dear friend, colleague, and a fabulous cheerleader and support in my life. 

Leila’s rich life experience shows up in her gifts as a coach. She was actually the very first coach for my Your Year of Miracles program more than 11 years ago and continues to this day. She also has a master’s degree in social work. Most recently, she’s the author of  Freedom From Shame: Trauma, Forgiveness, and Healing from Sexual Abuse. And she’s the brilliant host of a new podcast called Courageous Conversations.

In this episode, Leila shares the profound experiences that have sparked her passionate mission to light the way for others who seek happiness and fulfillment, but seem to have trouble finding the way. She opens up about her own traumatic past and shares how she found her way through the darkness and into the light.. Above all, she shares the steps she has taken in her life that have helped others live their own miraculous lives. 

“Life’s greatest wounds bring wisdom and compassion, which can bring healing to many people. You can turn your wound into a contribution which makes a difference in the world.”

– Leila Reyes

What we talked about:

  • “I did not always live this life.” (05:24)
  • How Leila confronted her father over sexual abuse and released herself from a state of victimhood (08:13)
  • Existential shame and learning to forgive through radical responsibility (09:38)
  • The importance of finding a  Beautiful Circle of friends who believe in you (13:13)
  • The benefit of having  a vision that’s bigger than your fear (16:02)
  • How to ease your own pain through self-compassion (17:28)
  • The three steps to the miracle zone: Self-compassion, the circle of friends, and practicing gratitude (18:54)
  • Leila’s podcast Courageous Conversations (22:23)
  • The story of the Chowchilla prison women and how Leila helped them overcome their own traumas to live beautiful lives (24:02)
  • Leila’s final words of wisdom from her book, Freedom from Shame (26:34)

Favorite quotes from the episode:

  • Okay, I’m gonna be scared. I’m gonna take a step forward and I’m gonna do it anyway – Leila Reyes
  • This challenge that I experienced is across the board. It’s a human experience – Leila Reyes
  • The biggest challenge to living in the miracle zone is to really get out of victimization. I had to remind myself over and over again that the difficult experiences that happen in life are not happening to me, but they’re happening through me and for me – Leila Reyes
  • How someone treats you is not your responsibility, but leaving or staying in an abusive relationship is your responsibility. So I had to really get underneath that so that I could see what’s mine and what isn’t mine. And then I could take responsibility for what was mine and let the rest go. –Leila Reyes
  • There’s a lot of different ways you can forgive, but it’s not about condoning the behavior, right? – Leila Reyes
  • I’ve learned that treating yourself with compassion is hard for everyone, everyone, not just survivors of abuse. And so the first way to start bringing more compassion to yourself is to fake it till you make it – Leila Reyes
  • Just continue, continue, continue, because if I can get out of this experience, if I can free myself from shame, you can too – Leila Reyes

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